Reading Skills

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“Why am I spending $50 on books again?” I asked my wife as I wrote out yet another check for one of my daughter’s “fund raising” activities. “It’s for a good cause,” was my wife’s response. “But dear,” I said through a clinched-teeth smile, “we already belong to the Children’s Book of the Month Club and have a Barnes & Noble discount card.”

No, I’m not opposed to my daughter reading. In fact I encourage it. The problem is that I shell out money for a “good cause” at least two or three times a week. Enough is enough already. It’s moved from “good cause” into the territory of extortion.

Every activity my children are involved in has got a hand in my wallet. And because children in America are supposed to be entertained and “encouraged” 24 hours a day, this adds up to a lot of activities and a lot of hands in my wallet.

My kids have karate twice a week. My daughter does sparring at karate on Friday’s. Brownies are on Wednesday’s. And with spring here, softball for my daughter starts in a week or so. My son is too young for t-ball, so we get to wait until the fall when they both can start soccer. And my daughter is looking forward to winter basketball.

Those are pretty much fixed costs that I’ve built into my household budget. And if that was where the begging ended, I could live with it. Unfortunately, I’ve got the additional “fund raising” that both my daughter’s elementary school and my son’s pre-school gently encourage me to take advantage of on a continual basis.

Here’s a list of all the fund raising shakedowns I’ve been hit with over the last year. And these are just the one’s I can remember. I’m sure my wife has hidden a few from me, quietly paying cash for a Arbor Day wreath or special school logo dishrag (all in the name of a “good cause”).

Girl Scout Cookies: This one isn’t too bad, except when I’m trying to diet. My strategy is to eat through the cookies as quickly as possible in hopes that I outpace the calories. Cost: At least $100 worth of Thin Mints.
Book Club: My daughter brings home a book club order form every month during the school year. For some reason, we have to buy books every month even though my daughter borrows books from the school library every week. With all the books, I think I’ll turn our guest room into a reading room. Cost: $20 a month.

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Wrapping Paper: How much wrapping paper do you need? My wife swears this is a good deal, but I’m pretty sure I can get wrapping paper cheaper at Wal-Mart. And even though my kids get invited to about a birthday party a week, my wife refuses to use the jingle bells paper to wrap a toy truck in June. Cost: $50.

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Overpriced Food Club: Support your school by buying expensive food that you wouldn’t eat in a million years unless it was forced on you. Things like frozen “chicken dee-lite” in freezer packs that can be heated in a microwave for only $8 a serving. What a bargain. Cost: $80 a month and countless antacid tablets.

Miscellaneous Grifts: There’s a whole host of one-time items like the pre-school “Wiggle and Giggle” dances ($5 a person), karate movie nights ($15 per child, but at least we got three hours of baby sitting), and one of my personal favorites, donate school supplies for the classrooms (at least $100 this year).

The National Institute of Disgruntled Working Folk estimates that the average cost of raising a child today is exactly 30% more than your take home pay. You will never catch up. In fact, you will be working past the time of your death just to pay for ballet and summer camp.

I guess I can take some amount of solace in the fact that, for the most part, these programs are for good causes. And, that my children will soon be old enough to start doing some of the chores around the house that I hate, like mowing the lawn and cleaning the pool. I may be able to recoup some of my losses soon.

“Hurry up and get that grass mowed,” I’ll shout in between sips of beer from my chair on the deck under the umbrella. “It’s all for a good cause.”

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Chuck Smith is the mind behind www.BrainSediment.com, where you can sift through the muck that is Chuck’s Brain. Visit http://www.BrainSediment.com for more humorous articles about family life.

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To Stress or Not to Stress?

 by: Lesley Spencer

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Today it seems that no matter who we are or what we do, we have more stress in our lives than our parents or grandparents did. There are many factors and demands that cause stress in our lives: things such as demanding careers, relationship conflicts, financial worries, health concerns, parenting challenges, legal issues, fear of the unknown and so many others.

If that were not enough, the stress and worries these situations cause further diminish our ability to function well and to be healthy. In fact, stress can cause depression, fatigue, irritability, withdrawal, insomnia, appetite changes, head aches, lower sex drive and many other ailments and diseases. Some studies suggest that as much as 80% of all major illnesses are attributed to stress. Take note of that again — as much as 80% of all major illnesses are attributed to stress! It is quite obvious — stress is NOT good for us, and we are wise to get rid of as much of it as possible.

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So how do you do that? First, do you know what things in your life are causing you stress? Think about it and write down those things. Next, go through your list and write possible solutions and ways to ease stress for each of those stress causers. Then, make a plan to do those things. That plan may look like a daily reminder that you read, post-it notes on your computer or a daily quiet time of prayer.

For those stress items that we cannot remove from our lives and for the unexpected stress that creeps into our lives, try these tips:

When you feel tense or stress, stop what you are doing, close your eyes and take several deep breaths. Inhale slowly counting to 10 and exhale slowly counting to 10. Try to do this at least three times. You may need to do this several times a day.

Start an exercise program. You may be amazed how much stress is relieved when you exercise. The endorphins that are released can reduce your stress, improve your mood and give you an energy boost.

Play relaxing music or soothing sounds that calm and relax you.

Plan a day off or at least plan some time just for yourself and do whatever is relaxing to you: sleep in, lay in a hammock, have coffee with a friend, take a bubble bath, have a glass of champagne, go for a hike, get a manicure or read a book.

Count your blessings. Record things you are happy and thankful about. Read them daily and add to your list as you recognize new blessings and things to be thankful for. The goal is to have a longer thankful list than stress list. Focus on the positive and remind yourself of the positive things in your life often.

Simplify your life. Are there unnecessary things in your life that you could remove? Are you over-extended or over-committed? Are their things in your life that you can outsource to simplify your life? Are your children in more than one extra-curricular activity? Is that adding more stress than is worth it?

Find more joy. Are their things that can truly add joy to your life? What are they? Are you focusing too much on work or negative things in your life? Are you taking time to stop and enjoy your life, your family, and your children?

Make today the day for new beginnings and for removing as much stress from your life as possible. Find joy. Make joy.

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